Just to recap, I am reflecting on an argument that was introduced in the previous session. I had had an argument with my husband about our teenage daughter staying out overnight. I identified several of the variables that fit into and exacerbated argument. The one I will focus on here is the notion that my husband and I approach parenting in different ways. In short, what happens in my reflection is that I identify exactly how my husband and I differ in parenting, and. I find some categories in the literature to describe these differences.
Through the literature and further reflection, I realise that parenting differently is not a huge issue and, in fact, it is almost impossible to have complete consensus in parenting styles. I realise that my need to agree with my husband on all issues dealing with my daughter, was making me frustrated, and this probably made the argument worse.
The first paragraph sets the context part of this reflection. No deep reflection is being entered into as yet. The topic sentence highlights the key point of the paragraph. Namely that my husband and I often approach parenting issues in different ways. The first reference I use is quite old, from 1971. But this particular reference is the first time the categories for parenting styles were coined. So, it is considered a classic work in the field. In the next sentence in blue, I relate the information gained in the literature to the present situation.
Remember the incident is central to the writing, so. there is no point in including literature that has little direct relevance to your incident. Always explain how the literature reveals something about the situation, and as I did in the next sentence in black font. Find some literature that describes or expands on your situation. You need to keep a continuous conversation between the literature and the details of the incident. The final sentence in this paragraph is what I call the link sentence. It sums up the point of what I'm saying in the paragraph and it should correspond to the topic sentence at the beginning of the paragraph.
In the next paragraph, once again the topic sentences are in red. This is the cracks of the issue here, then I immediately relate it to what this means in the confrontation we had; and I've done this in the blue. Where possible, I relate the literature to my situation as shown in the black text. I then move onto some reflection as shown in the green text section. Here, I explore why different parenting style issue was an issue in the confrontation at all. I finish with the linking sentence which makes sense of this reflection. It brings things down to earth and back to the real world and more importantly the incident that we are analysing in the first place. It also returns to the point established in the topic sentence.
In the next paragraph, the core part of the sentence is shown in red. The key point of this topic sentence is that I always felt that I had to agree on my husband about parenting. In the text in green, I start to move into some analytical reflection, where I look back at my own thinking and possibly question the things that I'd believed. Be sure to explore what you feel and believe. Question it, do not just state it. Dig down deep, and find out why you feel and believe the way that you do. In the black text section, I find some literature that talks about consensus in parenting styles but I need to immediately bring that back to what it tells me about my situation as a I do in the last line in blue. What it does tell me is that, lots of couples exhibit different parenting styles, this sentence is not a linked sentence summing up the paragraph. But it does move the reader onto the next section where I will talk further about having different parenting styles.
In the next paragraph marks a shift in my understanding of the situation. Reading the literature has caused me to reflect further and deeper; and there's no reason why this cannot feed into the reflective process as well. My realisation is expressed in the topic sentence, shown in red. Namely whatever we do, my husband and I will always be perceived differently. And this is followed by a number of sources that expand and further this idea.
In the final paragraph I have managed to come to some resolution that will move me forward. The final stage of the reflective process can be denoted as the planning phase. This means that we might think about where to next? with the issue; or how this understanding may change our behaviour in the future. You may or may not get to this stage with your reflection of your incident. It's not completely necessary that you do. Here, however, I have arrived at the understanding that common parenting approaches are not as important as I had previously thought. And as I reflect in green, what I really hope for is to have open communication between the three of us.
The final sentence is the link sentence – it echoes the idea started in the topic sentence by saying that the argument was made worse by my anxiety, which was mostly unnecessary. More importantly it brings the reader back to the incident or confrontation – which is what the assignment is all about. A reflection can go in many directions exploring ideas and feelings surrounding the incident, but, the paragraph will be much stronger if the reflection turns to the incident to clarify how it changes our understanding of the specific incident
So, in summary, although this is a reflective piece it should not be written as a long meandering chain of thought. It requires structure and paragraphing. Just like any other academic writing. So, use topic sentences and use linked sentences in order to bring up the ideas back to the situation. Keep that conversation going between the literature and the critical situation. Constantly relate one to the other, do not discuss literature or a theory that has no impact upon the critical incident.
And finally, reflect deeply and delve into the reasons of your feelings. Do not just identify them, and be open to the literature changing your views and understandings. At first you need to link your reflections to the literature, but this can be a cyclic process where the literature feeds back into your reflections as well. This, however, means that your writing could get quite long, so the key here is to limit the scope of your incident in the first place. Select a simple confrontation, because it is better to reflect deeply on a few variables rather than spreading your focus across a complex matter – making the reflection too broad and too shallow.